One of the women’s magazines published seven signs of a spinster that a man supposedly immediately notices in a woman. And therefore they deprive her of the opportunity to get a husband, which, according to the author, is the main dream of almost every woman of the weaker sex.
For many readers, however, such a question provoked irony and even confusion. In her opinion, the majority of women who have not started a family do so consciously and not at all because nobody marries them. And in general, the days when marriage was the main dream and goal of a woman are long gone. There are more and more representatives of the weaker sex who see no point in it.
So should a woman be obliged to marry?
A warrior in the field
Gone are the days when a husband was a guarantee of stability, of course. The man was the main support and support, the breadwinner of the family, the master of the house. Therefore, marriage was perceived as one of the most important life tasks and goals.
As Agatha Christie wrote, for a girl in her youth marriage was considered work. The wife, dependent on her husband’s contentment, must serve him faithfully. With the development of emancipation and thanks to the successful struggle of women for their rights, the situation has changed fundamentally.
Step by step, the weaker sex conquered areas that were historically considered male. First the women put on trousers. Then they went to the machines and tried on the leaders’ chairs. Women have learned how to earn money and make decisions – that is, to perform functions that were originally considered male.
After that, the need for a man as a breadwinner disappeared.
At the same time, the presence of a husband was still considered proof of a woman’s viability for a long time. Marriage is still considered by many to be one of the most important avenues of female fulfillment. True, those who hold such views are fewer and fewer.
Today, a woman who does not want to start a family does not surprise anyone. And many modern representatives of the weaker sex are not particularly complex due to the lack of a family.
Marriage is no longer the sole measure of a woman’s wealth. Many representatives of the weaker sex manage to make a good career, and these achievements are valued by them much more than owning a family nest.
Suitcase without a handle
A few years ago, a British agency conducted a survey and found that there are more unmarried women happy in their solitude than happy single men. According to the results of the survey, 61% of women do not seek marriage and, in general, serious relationships. Men who seek such solitude are only 49%.
According to the researchers, this is because full-fledged relationships now require more effort from a woman than from a man.
And that doesn’t even mean the expense of one man’s household-related services.
Most psychotherapists tend to place all of the responsibility for shaping relationships on women.
For many representatives of the weaker sex, this causes outright outrage.
“Psychotherapists have classified husbands in the 21st century as a privileged class: a woman in a dressing gown – I go to the one in a bikini; Wife didn’t sleep the night, tk. the child was sick, which means that he did not give energy to his husband (as described in one article) – I will look for a b … who will always accept; my wife puts out a plate of food without any trick – I go to the one who plays like an artist in the circus, etc. That is, a woman has to constantly twist on her navel to keep a man. Tell me what the hell?” our reader Maria was genuinely outraged.
Against this background, the husband is perceived by many as a burden.
What do women get when they marry? Just a new surname and an extra headache – the service of a loved one, ”says my friend.
According to many representatives of the weaker sex, today in conditions of equality, when many women earn equal with men, there is no reason to rush with them like a written bag. Why waste energy, time and feelings on him when they can be spent on yourself?
“You can meet up with your friends every night, go to an exhibition, to the cinema, to a café, wherever you want, it’s up to you. Nobody frets about your hobby and the time spent on it. You can plan a vacation just for yourself, when, where and how you want to spend it. You can study and work without adapting to anyone and make plans,” writes one of the netizens under an article about spinsters.
I know several single young ladies who are not at all concerned about their loneliness.
They will not trade their own comfort for family ties at any price.
“Some women find it more convenient and easier to live outside of marriage – they don’t have to conform to anyone, they don’t have to take care of anyone,” says psychotherapist Andrei Mashtakov. – Such women do not want unnecessary worries, do not want to waste on another person. And family life without her is impossible. After all, family means not only joy, but also worries and the need for self-control. It is even easier for such women to give birth to a child without a husband. Children can be dominated, which by the way many single mothers do. And you have to adapt to your husband, try to understand him, and this is an additional emotional price. Some people aren’t ready for that.”